This is a photo of Jane, my fiancée, taken just two hours after she passed away.
In the month before this, she hadn’t been feeling well. At first, it seemed like she just had a bad cold. She would cough a lot when lying down and didn’t have much of an appetite, but she still enjoyed her tea with a little extra sugar in every cup.
Five years earlier, Jane had been treated for throat cancer and had been told she was cancer-free. We spent five wonderful years together, and even though there were times she wasn’t feeling great, nothing ever seemed too serious.
The night before she passed, she felt really sick. I almost called an ambulance but decided to wait and see how she felt in the morning. When morning came, she was still struggling, so I helped her to the bathroom. On our way back to the living room, she suddenly collapsed. Just like that, she was gone.
She left this world so peacefully, and I miss her every day.
There were no signs that she was any sicker than usual. She ate, drank, and seemed fine in many ways.
The paramedics laid her like this while I waited for the coroner to come and take her away.
She didn’t pass away in a hospital, surrounded by strangers, or with time to prepare. It all happened so suddenly.
The coroner said that her cancer had come back, and that’s what caused her death.
If her passing meant she didn’t have to suffer for weeks or months, then I’m grateful for that, even though my heart is broken.
I love you, my darling, and I know I’ll see you again someday.
Sometimes, there are no signs, and for her, there really weren’t any.