I’ve always been open about my dad’s situation, even though it’s hard. You never know—maybe sharing my story will help someone else who feels alone.
Yesterday, my dad called me. He asked if I still lived at home (like he always does), and I told him about my apartment, making my rent sound lower than it really is. He asked about my job, and he thought it was pretty cool—so do I! In the background, I could hear my mom talking with a friend. Then my dad asked, “How’s mommy?” That felt a little odd since she was right there in the other room. I said, “She’s doing well, I think.”
He sounded happy and then asked, “Has she found a new boyfriend yet?” That made me stop in my tracks. Why would my mom have a new boyfriend? Then he said, “Nana Betty, I think I have her number; I should call her.”
Nana Betty was his mom—she passed away shortly after I was born. I was confused for a second, and then it hit me. My dad thought his mother was my mom.
So I asked, “Our mommy?” He said, “Yeah, Nana Betty!” I gently corrected him, explaining that Nana Betty was his mom, not mine. He answered, “No, Nana Betty is my wife; she gave birth to you.”
I ended up calling my aunt, crying, and then I called my mom. How do you even tell your mom that her husband doesn’t remember she’s his wife? It turns out this wasn’t new—just a few days ago, he asked her, “Danielle… is she your daughter?”
My dad believes he’s 18 years old and still in high school. He wakes my mom up at 2 a.m., thinking he needs to get ready for school. He doesn’t remember his time at the University of Miami, even though we all know how much he loves it—Go Canes!
Life changes so fast, and sometimes we don’t realize it until everything is different. So, cherish the little moments, just like the big ones. Remember the good days, but also accept the hard ones. Answer every phone call, smile for the 10th picture, and hold your hugs a little longer.
Whether it’s Alzheimer’s, ALS, cancer, or any illness a loved one is facing, just remember—you don’t have to go through it alone.
Credit goes to the first owner ✍️