I can’t forgive my husband. I have been married 21 years to my husband and we have several children one of them was special needs. He was born with a genetic mutation that neither of us carry, it was a random chance. He was sick most of his life and I was his primary care giver. He needed nursing home level care, I had a nurse that came to help me a few days a week. My husband–his father– did not help much at all no matter how much I asked for his help. He was always “too busy” or ” too tired” and complained of back pain. Our son lived 15 years. I carried him, took care of all his needs, did his meds, his tube feeding stayed up with him at night ect. I had to take up body building to be strong enough to transfer him to and from his wheelchair or bed or couch or anything because my husband would not help. I suffered back injuries and even had to crawl on the floor at times to meet my son’s needs. He still didn’t help. He might change a diaper now and then and want a prize for doing so. I couldn’t divorce him because I could not have a job while also caring for our son. His needs got greater and greater as he got older, by the time he died he was on 6 seizure meds and had several machines he had to use for part of each day. Still, he was a happy joyful child that loved life and was a joy to be around. He was always laughing and playing and very loved by me and his siblings. When he died we knew it was coming. I was in the hospital with him and he died in my arms, peacefully and not in pain. It was the worst moment of my life. An hour after he died my husband started going on about how he wanted to spend my son’s life insurance money on an expensive four wheeler. He decided that because the policy was through his work and under his name that the money belonged to him. I didn’t like this idea and wanted to put the money towards our house. He spent it. All of it. He knew I didn’t want that, and he told everyone that I was “on hard with it” and then acted shocked when I screamed and yelled at him for spending the money. He told his family that I “didn’t tell him” till after, but at this point even his family sees how awful he acted. He never helped take care of our son and then blew all the life insurance money. To make matters worse, he tricked one of our adult sons into paying for the cremation (I paid him back immediately when I found out) . I can’t forgive this man. I am so angry beyond words. I am also financially trapped as I have no work history for the last 21 years. I am sad.