Can a man be friendly with a wild hippo?

If a man is wise, that man will avoid wild hippos like the proverbial plague.

The hippopotamus is one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. Among other things:

Hippos are territorial and will attack at the slightest provocation.
Hippos have razor-sharp teeth and can slice a man in half.
Hippos can easily outrun anyone except for Usain Bolt. In the water, they are as fast as a motorboat.
They aren’t fat. What you’re seeing is a very thick skin covering some serious muscles.

This is what they can do to a crocodile:

And this is what a lion looks like afterwards. I guess she’s lucky to still be alive:

If you approach a wild hippo, you may not live to tell the tale. Even if you are in a boat, you might find this coming at you: